Baby brain and meanderings

I downloaded this chapbook from Brain Jar Press called From Baby Brain to Writer Brain. It’s the reflections of one author on how to come back to a creative life post-matrescence. Matrescence is a cool word I learned thanks to NPR that describes pretty accurately what having a baby feels like. There was me before, and now there is me, and they are sort of loosely related but also wow, everything is different. My body is different, my brain is different, my emotions are different — it’s a rollercoaster.

Anyway it was comforting to read that chapbook and realize other people have maintained a creative life post-baby, even though the writer in question balances writing with being a SAHM (not an option for me at the moment). Also her baby napped in a crib, which…would be a gamechanger to be honest. Though the little one is now entertaining himself through play up to thirty minutes at a time sometimes. Thus you’re hearing more from me on the blog.

All that said, I am slowly typing up my handwritten chapters and notes for the current WIP (the stuff I’ve written since July of last year) and otherwise have spent very little time making words. The dayjob resumes in a few weeks, and things will change. I’m enjoying my fourth trimester and not pushing myself too hard to accomplish anything or make any plans for 2024. This is difficult for me, especially because it seems like there are a ton of opportunities popping up that I’d like to pursue — dayjob trainings, local community arts grants, that sort of thing. My ambition will flare for a moment before I look around at my life and think, “Yeah, maybe next year. Let’s not break ourselves on this parenting thing.” Plus I know that my edit letter for the novella is coming at some point and that will be a challenging turnaround, since it’s looking like I might be back at work already. I’ve got plans for how that will be accomplished so I’m not worried, but I don’t want to split my focus further.

It’s a continuously evolving landscape. But I have faith I’ll find a new rhythm at some point. Baby Boy is only two months old, so we’ve got a lot of very different adventures to look forward to even in the next year. Babies grow so fast.