Big news, self-care, internal screaming

You may realize that I have a lot of things generally going on in my life.

I suspect this is a personality issue. I get bored, so I sign on for more stuff, and then I get overwhelmed. It might also be just a life issue – everyone is busy, as far as I can tell, and it gets exponentially worse when you are both busy and passionate and excitable.*

I’ve been sinking the ship recently (again) with regards to self-care (or self care, which seems more proper but less purposeful in typographical nature). This has led to some general body image issues and so many migraines that it’s starting to feel normal to have one every third day. Obviously not a great mental health place to be in, much less physical health.

Anyway, add to all of this some major life events the past two weeks. S.O.’s birthday kicked things off, which was super stressful for me for I don’t know what reason – probably because I thought I had to make everything perfect, since he turned thirty this year. Then the S.O.’s grandmother passed away this past weekend, which was not unexpected but was, as all such things, sad. There was lots of funerary stuff to get through, which is draining, though I’m sure it was worse for him. But Sunday evening a very exciting thing happened.

We found a house.

We’ve been looking for a year so it’s about damn time. A bid went in, and we’ve been negotiating, and that means we have to move. By September 7th.

So I am a little freaked out. A little. Luckily the house is not far from where we live now so if worse comes to worse I can walk shit over in a wagon. Seriously, not far. And it’s beautiful.

So anyway, with all that happening I’m straddling this weird place between mental self-care (reading books to get away from my emotion-tornado) and physical self-care (running and stuff, which can sometimes help my emotion-tornado but is not my drug of choice). The balance is not necessarily going well, but we’ll get there probably.

At this point I think it’s realistic for me to scream in a corner.

 

*Really, I wish I could chill out sometimes and not be so passionate about so many things. But there it is.